I can’t believe what just happened!
My whole world was shattered in an instant by the accidental death of my brother at the age of 15. I felt that I couldn’t live my life fully because my brother wasn’t given the opportunity to live his life. I was left to create a new identity without him!
I started living on the sidelines of my life because if I became too close to someone, they would leave me or die. I rarely showed up fully to participate with people or in events.
Fortunately for me, my parents never treated me differently after my brother died. I had the opportunity to go to Europe with students while I was in high school and I asked my parents if I could participate in this trip. They allowed me to go on this trip of a lifetime a year and a half after my brother’s death. My parents then continued to give me the freedom to choose what I wanted to do in my life with their support.
Yet, I was being suffocated by survivor’s guilt.
Life became challenging. I felt that I couldn’t be like my brother or be myself with the strengths and weaknesses that I had. I started to compare myself to others only to find that I wasn’t good enough and couldn’t live up to my/their expectations. I soon realized that I was one of the ‘walking wounded’ who experienced life without fully living it. I was just going through the motions of life without purpose, fulfillment, or joy.
When the movie ‘Ordinary People’ debuted in 1980, I could immediately identify with the Timothy Hutton character. His older athletic brother drowned, his parents were left grieving their lost son without concern for him. He was left alone to attempt to fill the void of his brother’s life. Because he couldn’t get his parents’ attention that he was still a living part of the family and grieving, too, he attempted suicide. His grieving mother was worried that there was blood on the bathroom floor and not about her son who was also grieving and pleading for help and to be heard. The mother couldn’t survive the loss of their gifted son and she left the family with many shattered lives.
My life was unsettled. Relationships with family, friends, and colleagues were strained. Work soon became a conflict zone because I would sabotage myself. I kept living trying to avoid the minefield that became my life. There were periods of time when I had managers who believed in me so that I could excel at work and I could begin to fully live my life. I attempted to repair my life in different ways which left me doing two jobs at the same time. Nothing I tried brought long-lasting change to heal my life. Life went on without me!
I then lost a close friend at the hands of a distracted driver. My world was turned upside down once again. I wanted to pick up the pieces of my life and go on with life without her. WOW!! What to do now? I was running out of options to put my life back together.
If only things could be different…..
I searched and searched for the solution to my self-sabotage in relationships and work situations. I became more frustrated at my lack of not meeting my life and career goals. I had to find a way back to living in the land of the living. So much was at stake for me in finding my purpose and mission in life. I was determined to find the solution to make me whole again. But where?
A coach introduced me to a Master Trainer in Neurolinguistic Programming and Hypnosis who presented me with the opportunity to heal from the inside out. I could change my limiting beliefs and the strategies that no longer served me. I was able to align my values to who I was destined to be and put ‘parts’ back together so that I could finally begin my healing process. As I was healing the trauma that I experienced, I became an Institute Head and Trainer in Neurolinguistic Programming and Hypnosis so that I could serve others who are going through a significant life event and have meaningful, purpose-filled lives.
Because my healing process brought me an awareness of my mission and vision, I established the Phoenix Rising Life Institute to assist people who have had a significant life event (loss of a loved one, divorce, loss of a job promotion, etc) and desire to live their lives by showing up and being present at all times, being in control of thoughts, beliefs, and actions, and creating a life with rich, fulfilling relationships and experiences. No, this journey is far from easy, but this is a path that worked very well for me and my healing process and if you are searching for answers on how to move on after the loss of a sibling, or any loss, please consider meeting with me to see if this is a good fit. Book a discovery chat with me today to begin your transformational journey to wholeness.
Mary Elaine Petrucci
Phoenix Rising Life Institute
maryelaine@phoenixrisinglifeinstitute.com
https://www.calendly.com/maryelaine/30min
ABOUT MARY ELAINE PETRUCCI, M.A.:
Board Certified Designations as: NLP Trainer, Master Practitioner Hypnotherapy, Master Practitioner Time Line Therapy, Master Practitioner NLP Coaching, Masters in Healthcare Management
Mary Elaine is a strong advocate for people who care for others. She has a reputation for advocacy, education, and change using her mind-body techniques and hypnotherapy. She realized that there are huge groups of healthcare professionals, family caregivers, holistic practitioners, and those providing care to others who require training and coaching in mind-body techniques and hypnotherapy to reduce their stress, overwhelm, and burnout when caring for others as well as find this work life-changing when seeking a purpose-filled life
Mary Elaine is a healthcare specialist who has nearly twenty years of healthcare, pharmaceutical sales, and marketing experience with neurorehabilitation, hospitals, and home health companies as well as twenty years as a healthcare provider working with children and adults in schools, home care, hospitals, nursing homes, memory care settings, and independent/assisted living facilities. Her healthcare experience afforded her the skills to be a caregiver for her parents and an understanding of the caregiving role.
She has a Master’s in Business Administration in Healthcare Management from Boston University.
Recently, Mary Elaine has completed studies under the auspices of the American Board of Hypnotherapy and NLP in mindset and performance training and coaching with a designation recognized in 42 countries.