What It Means to be Disabled: A View into One’s Mind

Caregiving
Written By Joseph Sisk

I have cerebral palsy. It’s incurable, and while most people would see it as a downfall, I see it as a superpower. It gives the ability to express one’s thoughts and show people the potential of the world. I always wanted to be a writer and actor—to give that gift to the world. There’s no better joy in life than the written word and showing it in theatre. It gives people hope for the future and guidance for the here and now. It says to that one person, “You’re not alone.”

I don’t see myself as having a disability. As a child, I would look at the other children and wonder why they could walk and not me. I’m not like other people who have a disability. I have a well-functioning brain that thinks and can problem-solve.

I had a teacher in elementary school who didn’t see me as a child who had a disability, but rather one who had—and has—a brilliant mind. In kindergarten, turning into first grade, she taught me to read a grade above the kids in my grade—which, at the time, I thought was hard to handle like others in my situation would—but in hindsight, it taught me to love reading and ultimately love writing.

Even my elementary school had drama classes. I remember my teacher vividly: black hair, large ornate gems, encrusted with gold and silver. When we were doing a show, she had a large clipboard and a long piece of paper that had a list of all the characters she wanted us to play, and in the room, she had a brown piano that was in the corner. In the year of her retirement, she had wanted to do a show that was memorable for everyone involved and so, she thought of a Disney show.

This show depicted several Disney songs such as “Be Our Guest” from Beauty and the Beast and “Part of Your World” from The Little Mermaid. The students were impressed by the way our elementary school drama teacher was able to capture the audience’s attention. I will never forget the way she rigged Aladdin’s magic carpet with an invisible track. When “A Whole New World” played, the lights would dim and the carpet, which was above the audience head, would circle and twirl and move in a synchronized dance. My friends, who were playing Jasmine and Aladdin, sang the song beautifully, as the songs were just karaoke.

Other times, we would do shows from American Bandstand. The set pieces and costumes were homemade but equally elaborate. I’ll never forget those long days of rehearsal in our music room where the students who were in these shows got special privileges just to be in our music room to complete these practices. It was certainly a sad day to have our elementary school teacher finally retire. I’ll never know for certain who took our elementary school drama teacher’s place, but what I do know is that whoever did, they did not capture the same enthusiasm as she did. She had a way of interacting with her peers whether it was with her students, faculty, or family members. You just wanted to be around her. She was contagious.

In high school and college, I took regular classes with regular students. I was the only one in a wheelchair. My favorite classes were English and Drama. I was in AP English my senior year. Even my teacher, with her fiery red hair, saw my potential and my love of grammar. So for drama, my situation was a special one. As a freshman in high school, I was allowed to be in drama class—something that my school didn’t allow—lest one knew someone with connections.

My high school drama teacher was equally loved by all. She had a knack for making something as pieces of literature into a spectacle. I remember we had done the sequel to Twelfth Night by William Shakespeare. On this day, I was in our high school Performing Arts Center, sitting in the audience quarters, listening to the show because I was assigned to be a heckler for this show. My role was to watch the show, leave my cell phone on ring mode, and laugh hysterically and loudly at the members on the stage. Though I didn’t have a main role, I did gain experience beyond measure for future shows.

In middle school, I was lucky even then. I remember my choir/drama teacher very vividly. He was short and medium size in stature. He had a clean-shaven beard part-time, but when he did have a beard it was shaped nicely. He was strict for most of his career with us because he wanted the best for us. At times during the year, he’d divide us into groups and perform plays and choir songs for the school.

The teachers and students enjoyed our shows. With everyone there, I was still the one singled out as being in a wheelchair. My friends at the time did not care at all that I was in a wheelchair or judge me for it. I remember we had a choir concert that was supposed to take place in a few days.

College was a ten-year journey; it was certainly something I’d never forget. There was a mix of good and bad. However, I remember the good. I didn’t know this yet, but in hindsight, I knew it laid the foundation for my writing and acting career for the stage: Public Speaking. I met several people while acting on stage. My troupe’s name is Theatre For All, here in Wilmington.

Founded officially in 2015, after a successful journey in the schools, Theatre For All is a Wilmington-based theatre company for people who have disabilities that focuses on enriching those in the Wilmington community with original and fantastic performances. Their list includes original shows, an amazing choir and dance company—and in the past—an academy company that trains people from various countries around the world.

At Theatre For All, they saw, and continue to see, the potential in each person, watching them grow into professional actors and actresses for the stage. In college, I had a professor who saw my potential not only as a stage actor but as a writer as well. I took his class because I wanted to see what it took to become one of the greats. Because of his class, I now know I can become anyone I choose to be.

On the stage of Theatre For All, actors and actresses are shown to be like anyone else. I am amazed at how we can conceive an idea, write a script for it—if need be—and practice it until it is shining, and then perform it to an amazed crowd. With each performance, not only I’m amazed by the other actors and actresses with physical or mental disabilities, but we also grow into our own—with our leader’s passion and friendship.

Thus, I am a lucky person who thrives on connection and friendship, and that’s what being disabled truly means to me.

ABOUT JOSEPH SISK:

Joseph Sisk is an author and actor. A Wilmington, NC resident, he spends his days writing and acting with his troupe, Theatre For All. Founded in 2015, Theatre For All is a Wilmington-based troupe that offers actors/actresses with disabilities a range of artistic mediums including song, dance, and acting for the stage. Their shows range from spring, winter, and summer shows. For more info on Theatre For All, visit www.theatreforall.org or to get Joseph’s books, visit Amazon.com.

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