My whole world was shattered in an instant by the accidental death of my brother at the age of 15. I felt that I couldn’t live my life fully because my brother wasn’t given the opportunity to live his life. I was left to create a new identity without him! I started living on the sidelines of my life because if I became too close to someone, they would leave me or die. I rarely showed up fully to participate with people or in events.

When I lost my brother, Michael in 2004, while he was serving as a flight medic in Iraq, I found only one book on sibling loss. It was in that book where I was introduced to the term “forgotten mourners”, referencing people who have lost a sibling. This is said in part because most support goes towards their parents when a sibling dies. The parents are dealing with most peoples’ worst nightmare, the loss of a child. Even the surviving siblings themselves are often focused on helping their parents. The type of support received is most often in others asking how one’s mom, or parents, are doing, but rarely on how the surviving sibling themselves are doing.

It has been six hundred-fifty-seven days and two hours, since my entire world as I knew it, completely shattered. Shattered, fell apart, blew up, destroyed, wrecked. On this day, February 27, 2022, at 5:27 pm, the love of my life, my heart and soul, my beautiful 23-year-old daughter, Kelsie’s heart beat for the last time. My worst nightmare, every parent’s worst nightmare, was now reality.

My wife, Julie, and I had been enjoying the festivities at a holiday party in 2019 when suddenly a clear and intrusive thought shook me: “Kenny is dead.” I felt uneasy, to the point where someone asked me if I was doing okay but I dismissed the intrusive thought I had as not urgent or imminent and politely said, “I’m fine.”

April 24th, 2022, 5:30am the phone rings. My wife and I assume it’s a prank call or wrong number and hang up. It rings again. We pick it up and hear those words like some sort of horror movie: Your daughter has been in a serious car accident. Packing up from our Hilton Head weekend away, we begin to rush home but within ten minutes, we received the next call: she did not make it.

Whether it is your first Hanukkah or Christmas without your Loved One, or there have been many, one of the hardest things about the holidays is seeing their empty chair. During our grief journeys you may find that the grief changes and grows in different directions year to year. Our Beloved Dad died three days after Christmas. The first year after his death I was okay putting up all the usual decorations and making our house full of Christmas everything. The second year after he died, I could barely bring myself to look at anything that had to do with Christmas or take out the decorations, let alone decorate or have a tree.

As we get older, holidays are a mixed blessing. As a child, we looked upon these special days with great anticipation and awe. We would count the days until we had that huge turkey dinner for Thanksgiving or ham dinner on Easter. You would get to see all your relatives that the family chose to celebrate with which might have meant they would travel to visit or you would travel to the family Matriarch’s house.

One of the best ways to work through grief is to work on a project that can benefit your whole family, or the group of people who are also mourning the loss of your Loved One is to create something that honors the person and brings fun, laughter, memories and tears.

I have many concerns about Medicare. But today I am interested in understanding the “WHY” behind this: why I should go on Medicare or the why I shouldn’t go on Medicare.

There are many frustrating issues that accompany aging. Many of them are beyond our control. We have to endure or figure out a work-around for so many things that we can no longer do either mentally or physically. As a Caregiving expert, I work with clients and families to look at what items continually blow up their schedules to look at what can be done to change or contain the circumstances surrounding these daily issues.

As an RN who has worked in assisted living and memory care, I have talked with many families who have to place their loved ones in these types of community-based care because they have come to the end of their ropes and are exhausted and unable to safely care for their loved ones. Often, the elder is resistant to the process and refuses to willingly make this move. The family is torn between trying to defer to the desires of this person they care about so deeply and trying to ensure that their needs are met. This can lead to guilt, frustration, anxiety, anger, and grief.

Dear 65, this does not need to be a frightening time, but a time of finding answers and understanding the Medicare Maze. By seeking answers and understanding the intricacies of Medicare, you are taking a proactive step towards making informed decisions that are tailored to your individual needs. Knowledge is the key that will empower you to confidently choose the coverage that best suits you. There are resources, professionals, and support systems available to guide you through the Medicare maze and ensure that you make choices that align with your health and financial goals.

As I get closer to you, I have many concerns and one significant one is MEDICARE! Questions like What, Why, How, Who and When constantly occupy my thoughts. What exactly is Medicare? Why should I consider enrolling in Medicare? How can I enroll in Medicare? Who can I rely on for guidance with Medicare? Why do I feel so baffled?

Besides supporting families, I am a trained elder mediator. A professional like myself can help you and your family, or a client, who cares for a person living with dementia. It may be suitable for situations where an aging family member’s welfare is at risk. This may be due to disagreements among relatives and/or close friends or advisors.

There are many couples where both spouses receive Social Security benefits. What happens to those benefits when one of them passes away? The first thing to do is call or go to your local Social Security office and let them know the beneficiary has passed away. If any benefits have been received for that beneficiary in the month they passed, that money will need to be returned to Social Security, as well as any further benefits received on behalf of the decreased beneficiary. This information cannot be provided to Social Security online.

As a beloved Veteran becomes older and needs more care, some families are dealing with Veteran’s Administration (VA) healthcare benefits earned by their vet in connection to their military service. Navigating the ins and outs of VA healthcare benefits can be daunting.

Caring for an adult Loved One with health issues can be overwhelming. Besides the physical care and mental support you give your loved one, you may also be tasked with overseeing their financial and medical care needs. There are documents your Loved One can provide that can help you navigate their financial and medical care wishes once they are no longer able to do so for themselves.

Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI) is a federal government program funded by payroll taxes. Its pays benefits to disabled insured workers and certain family members. The key word being “insured.” Just because you have work, doesn’t necessarily mean that you are an insured work by Social Security Disability rules.

This month I am dedicating my editorial to both glaucoma and thyroid information as January is both glaucoma and thyroid awareness month. So here is the journey I have had with both of these important subjects.

As a caregiver you understand the wild swing of emotions you can experience on any given day. This is completely normal. But while you are tending to your loved ones’ needs, you can also help transform your emotional wounds through resilient healing.